MOVIE REVIEW: THE SHAPE OF WATER; The Creature Evolves

In 1954 I was in my mid-teens and, as all of you know, I was an extreme sciencefiction

nerd. I collected science-fiction comics and haunted the local book store for

magazines covering sci-ti topics and movies. I was also a big fan of horror movies

(what teenager isn't?) and whenever one came out that linked the two genres my

enthusiasm kicked into high gear!

Well, in 1954 Universal Studios released a black & white potboiler called, "The

Creature From The Black Lagoon" which, because of my extreme nerdiness, nearly

sparked a serious rebellion between me and my parents. This particular movie came

out with a lot of publicity and scientific hype because of the unique costume designed

for the "creature". It was worn by an athletic human, of course, but it contained a

small SCUBA tank built into the spiny backbone of the suit so that the "gill-man" could

actually stay underwater ... lurking and swimming around for long scenes while

menacing the curvaceous Julie Adams. Also, the costume achieved new highs in

realistic, scaly visual effects in portraying a hitherto unknown "manfish".

Consequently, the Creature was featured on the covers of most movie magazines of

the era ... and also on more serious scientific magazines like Popular Mechanics and

Popular Science! Needless to say, all this hype stoked Sudzy's sci-fi nerd core to

nearly explosive levels!

Although released in February in major cities, "Creature ... " didn't hit little small

town movie houses like Swanton's Lafrance Theater until late summer. When its

billboard finally appeared in the glass showcases of "Coming Attractions", my nerd

core started boiling over! The coming attractions were posted about a week before

the feature played ... which gave me a week to ape about it around family and friends.

"Oh MAN! Next Friday I go see .... the CREATURE from the Black LAGOOOOON!"

These announcements were accompanied by monstrous face-making and clawfingered

outstretched arms. Such clowning around was appreciated by my circle of

friends and my little brother. But Mom was a different matter! I started going through

this juvenile charade when sitting down at every family meal. The first time or two she

chuckled indulgently. But around the fourth or fifth repetition she was no longer

amused and told me to quit doing it. But nerdy me; I thought it was funny... and kept

on doing it! So when I performed my little monster mime at lunch the following

Wednesday, Mom slammed her hand down hard on the table.

"That's IT!!! Guy, you are FORBIDDEN to see that movie!"

I was crushed. I couldn't see the one movie I most wanted to see that year?!! My

nerd core deflated like a penny balloon! I moped around the rest of the day.

On Thursday I began working on plans to reverse her decision. I apologized, of

course, but a few "I'm sorrys" wasn't going to cut it. Mom had warned me but I

foolishly persisted in silly behavior; so she made a hard decision and that was that!

Now most small-town theaters back in the 1950s usually showed double features

and that was the case with Swanton's Lafrance Theater. The 2nd feature billed with

"Creature .. " was titled, "Crazylegs". It was a biopic about a 1940s football hero

named Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch. In fact; Hirsch starred as himself in his own biopic.

The title and nickname of "Crazylegs" came about because when viewed from behind

while he ran, both legs kicked way out to either side and looked pretty funny.

So my second ploy for redemption was to emphasize what a good thing it would be

for me to see the second feature about a wholesome football hero! In truth, I was no

fan of football and couldn't care less about seeing, "Crazylegs". Still no dice! Mom

wasn't persuaded. I was getting desperate! That evening I had pretty much decided

that somehow over the coming weekend I would have to come up with some excuse

for being away for a couple of hours so I could sneak off to see the CREATURE! The

chances of me pulling this off successfully were slim (small town; everyone knew

everyone; my Mom really knew ME!), but I really wanted to see "Creature From The

Black Lagoon"!

My dad had been pretty much absent during this period as he traveled a lot in his

work and arrived back home by Friday. So he had missed out on all my obnoxious

Creature clowning. Perhaps the crisis would've never arisen if he had been around

because his mere presence exerted a very moderating influence on my impulses for

goofball behavior. I'm sure Mom had told him about the preceding days and why she

had issued her Creature kibosh against me. And my parents always supported each

other when it came to how they handled their kids. That's how good parenting works.

Nevertheless, I knew Dad had a capacity for sympathy ... as well as Mom. So I

waited throughout Friday morning and into the afternoon; trying to figure out the best

time to try my last ploy: throw myself on the mercy of the court ... with lots of

remorse! I almost waited too long. About mid-afternoon Mom & Dad were dressed

and ready to go attend some social function that evening. I approached them as they

exited the rear door on their way to the car.

I don't recall everything I said to them, but I said it with penitence and sadness!

And, of course, I threw in that nonsense about wanting to see wholesome football

hero, "Crazylegs" Hirsch! I finished and stood there with shoulders slouched in

classic hangdog posture. I knew I had something going for me when Dad, with a

sympathetic expression, looked over at Mom and said questioningly:

"Welt, Francie?" Mom's first name was Frances.

Mom took a long, silent pause while gazing downward in meditation ... just like a

Supreme Court judge! Then she said slowly:

"I suppose there are some parts he would really enjoy ... "

My heart swelled with glee! I thought silently to myself: "You got that right, Ma!

There are PARTS I will REALLY enjoy!"

She concluded by giving her assent, but with cautionary remarks about not taking

movies so seriously; NOT giving into silly behavior over them; etc. I nodded my head

vigorously with quick responses: "Yes." "Unhuh." "Absolutely!" "Right!"

So I got to see "Creature From The Black Lagoon" without breaking the bond of

parental obedience ... and thoroughly loved it.

Well, Gang, I know this has been an exorbitantly long preamble into a review of

"The Shape Of Water", but I feel it is appropriate because I'm certain that director

Guillermo del Toro loved "Creature From The Black Lagoon" as much as I did. And his

current re-imagining of this horror classic is so much better! It's not just a horror

movie or a creature-feature thriller. It's also a spy drama; a cold-war commentary; a

study of 1960s racism and anti-gay attitudes; a visually rich nostalgic tour of. the era;

and even a song & dance musical! But most of all, it's a romance drama! It's done so

well it has gotten 13 Oscar nominations, including best picture! I hope it wins.